What growth feels like

Today I finally realized why I am a writer. Growing up as one of 6 I never really got the chance to be myself. I always felt like my voice wasn't heard so I would write. I would spend my days writing all of the things I could never say. Today I experienced something that really drove me crazy. I felt the same way I felt when I was growing up. Someone stole my voice. Stifled it. I shared my story and someone stole it and passed it on as if my feeling did not exist. Today I did nothing but tomorrow I will reclaim my voice.

Gravity

I don't want to fall another minute into your gravity....

Closed chapters...

This song 

 Sometimes I think life messes with us... 

I will leave out the initials to protect the guilty...

Animal Kingdom

Disneymoon

Newlyweds 2013

my heart stops when you look at me

Please just....

Who died and made you king of anything?

No ordinary love

Happy 23rd birthday Jahmil!!! Can you believe we met when we were 18...

Sing me a song. sing it soft, sing it long

Love all over me---Monica

Right to be wrong-Joss Stone

I might be singing out of key but it sure feels good to me

I have figured out that LOVE is all that matters after all

So Small by Carrie Underwood

Johnna by: Urban Dictionary

Johnna: a super hottie who is amazing to talk with when you need to talk to someone whether you are sad or happy.

Johnna is easy to talk to when you are in any mood

a love song

a very nice song that makes you want to huggle your special someone :)

Love you J.J.W

Sad that my sister is going away

My hope for my sister and friend that can outlast any other..........is that you never settle for the path of least resistance.

I love you Tiffers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Like everynight that has come and gone before it... This too shall pass

J.J.W I love you!

Isn't it funny

Ne-yo is the man!

This song is sooo sweet

I keep telling myself

My Fav Song Right Now

Love Song

IF LOVE TOLD BY: JOHNNA B

If love had a face it would look just like yours
If love had could be put into words it would read “Lucky I’m in love with my best friend”
If love were a kiss it would be feel cold and always be desirable, it would never get old
If love were a joke it would be an insider, something for just you and I
If love were a fairytale we would have met at 5 years old and stayed together forever
If love had a definition it would be Love: (noun) Jahmil Jeremiah Witherspoon
If love were a treat it would be a fudge brownie, something so yummy it could erase any trouble
If love gives me my way I will still be loving you when you are 88 and I am 89
If love were a couple it would be named Johnna and Jahmil, lovers and friends

How I'm dealing with the pain

When I realized that forever isn't promised I decided to take advantage of the time I have, loving my family while they are around, letting love change my life, and laughing with my bestfriends until it hurts.

I felt like a princess

Kisses from Mickey
and
Arriving at the magic kingdom!

so the first week in July my bf took me to orlando florida to disney world...oh and
I must say it was a magical experience. I had sooo much fun. I the time of my life.

I serve you notice

Dear life,

It's not that I don't care, I just know that the fight ain't fair. But don't you worry I will win this one :)


JB

Here's one for all the conformists and the haters

TLC - my favorite girl group....

Jahmil J Witherspoon

I feel more and more in love each time I hear this.

Looks like love :)

I'm addicted to his chocolate high

today

Its been a crazy day.... work sucked!!! but my boyfriend is amazing and we are going to disney world in 2 weeks and a few days yay!!! ahhh i'm in love :) Well I have a ton of homeowrk to do so I will try to update again soon :)

I LOVE THIS SONG

the honeymoon phase has ended but....

Video blog

i'm not trying to turn this into a video blog but lately
I haven't had much time to write since I started grad school. YAY me!! but I want to share whats on my mind so expect more songs!

I've got proof

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girls!!!

He heals me

I'm sure you are sorry

Could have loved you forever
all I asked is that you be faithful
and you said never
i was always there for you
through everything
being the one you could count on
love me forever I begged
and you just kept saying hold on
I couldn't do it
I needed you to be there for me
I was going through a lot
and you were so caught up in your own mess
that you just couldn't see
How much I needed you so
I had to be strong and move on
I gave my everything to you
so I had to start from scratch
I had nothing left
I gave it all to you
Nothing can compare
to the emptiness I felt
when you left
My pride couldn't beg you to stay
Naw that could never be me
So I had to move on
You stopped treating me right
So you had to get gone
Dont be mad at me
you asked for this
It sucks don't it
Now my kiss is the number one thing
that you will always miss



3/14/2009
6:32 pm

For L.B
By J.M.B

Woman

I am a woman
Love me
Hold me
Show me
Keep me
Kiss me
Thrill me
Always be with me
Don't take advantage of my weakness
Or set me up to fail only so you can gain your hearts desire
Instead why not hold me hand as we plan to build a wonderful life and talk about our love that will last forever
Because I am a woman and you will...
Love me
Hold me
Show me
Keep me
Kiss me
Thrill me
And always be with me
Sincerely promise not to take advantage of me but to always think of me
Promise me you will always think of me first and give me your last
Because I am a woman and you will
Love me
Hold me
Show me
Keep me
Kiss me
Thrill me
And always be with me
Our love will last forever growing stronger with each passing hour
We will stand strong no matter what trials may come. You will be the strong man you were created to be and I will follow you be supportive
Loving you
Holding you
Showing you
Keeping you
Kissing you
Thrilling you
And always being with you
Because I am a woman and you will
Love me
Hold me
Show me
Keep me
Kiss me
Thrill me
And always be with me


Written by: Johnna Michelle

Boy, was I wrong

Giving my heart to you
Perfect, So I thought
We would be so good together
Perfect, we would be PERFECT
Close friends
Great conversation
We are so different
But so much alike
We already got along because
We were always so close
our feelings for each other were already strong
It seemed like it was only right
And that together we belonged
But boy was I wrong
maybe it was our age difference
Which seemed so small and insignificant
Perhaps it was that which made you continue
to keep chasing other girls
To keep searching for the love
That was always there
The love you ran to when it really mattered
Eventually, much sooner than later
You will be hurt just like I am now
Someday you will come to claim you place
As my man, my lover, my friend
But you will find that someone else is
In your place, filling the space
That you thought belonged to you
The space that you were sure would always be there
When you returned...
But you left me waiting in the cold for too long
and the bridge to my love was burned



Written for: M.D.F
Written for: J.M.B

1/14/2009

confused & hurt

Sometimes I sit and wonder why you treat me so bad
All that I have ever done is love you
Love you more than anyone else ever has
It just doesn't make sense
I have this longing to please you
Although I know that I really don't need you
I feel like I need you in my life
I don't even want you
After all the things that we have been through
I offered you all of my love
And you just took it and stuffed it in your pocket
To pull out and play with it whenever you get bored
or need some attention or affirmation
As I sit back and cry
Wondering why if you call me your best friend
One of the women that you will do almost anything for
How could you just play with my feelings and act like its okay
Maybe if you saw my tears
Or knew how such this has changed me
You wouldn't be such a jerk
And I wouldn't always be so sad


Written by: J.M.B
Written for: M.D.F


1/14/2009

The awakening...

All this time
I thought it was me
I blamed myself for all of our problems
When the truth is that all of our troubles
Begin and end with you
I could never make you things right
Because I haven't done anything wrong
I spent years wishing that you would come around
And things would get better
Sitting around daydreaming about our happy ending
Has done nothing but left me with a heart
Full of empty, unfulfilled fairy tales


Written for: M.D.F
Written by: J.M.B


1/14/2009
9:05 a.m

Just so you know....

Even if you're not wondering...
It's important that you know
I love you
I really do
I'm not trying to play with your emotions
Thats why I play it cool
I know that right now
I don't know what I am going to do
When it comes to having a relationship
Sometimes I'm excited and feel ready
And other days I just don't feel sure
And I just want to shut down
We are so close
And I care about your feelings
So much that even when I want to shutdown
I just don't
I try my best to share my feelings
That I don't even understand
I am confident that we can get past this
Just hold my hand
Don't give up on me
All I am really trying to say is that
My heart is in pieces
That are scattered
Stuck in the hands of this person and that
But I'm on a mission to collect all those pieces
Because I want to give them to you.


Written for: J.J.W
Written by: J.M.B

1/14/09

Feelin so low...

If anyone has ever made me feel bad, feel stupid or low it is you. Whenever I feel good you push me higher,as if i'm sitting with the clouds and then you kick me down with my face to the ground and laugh as if its funny. Your love is just so confusing because if I would ever dare leave, you be hurt but you act as if I don't matter. Sometimes as if you don't even want me around...Bestfriends...If this is how you treat me ... I should warn your enemies.

Written for: M.D.F

Written by: J.M.B

1/14/09

My hoodie
It may not be perfect but its all I know

Its always there when I need it
Tucked away in the same spot
Ready and willing to keep me warm when the weather is cold
Sometimes the most comfortable things are old
I’m so afraid to try to replace it with something new
Even if it seems like the new hoodie might be warmer
The style is more current
Old faithful provides me with a sense of security
I am already used to the way it fits me
Im afraid to replace it
Because lets face it
We all know that one I give it up
If the new one doesn’t fit as good
Or turn on to be as cute as it looked on the rack
Then I may not be able to just take it back
And go back to wearing my old one like nothing happened
I’m afraid to get a new one because though the old one my not be the best
It is all I know…


Written by : JMB

Trying new things….hoping to ease the fear

My First Love

My first love

Not my first schoolyard crush,
Or just some boy whispering sweet nothings
To make me blush
The boy who grew into the man
That I planned to love forever
We were inseparable
My every thought was of you
I loved you so much you even found your way
Into my dreams at night
Even now after so many years have passed
Hearing you name or seeing your picture
Takes me back through the years
To the day we met, our first date
That was a night I will never forget
I know it has been so long
But honestly there are
Some songs I just cant listen to
Because they remind me of you
And all of the things that we could have been
It’s safe to say that I still love you
I always have and always will
I have never loved a man the same since
I’m not saying it wasn’t real
It jus wasn’t as intense
I haven’t cried, like I did for you
I still haven’t found anyone that I need
As much as I have needed you
All the man I dreamed of I found in you
As wild as it is, I might be down for round 2
If I knew that you were down too


12/28/2008
Written by: J.M.B
For: My first love… D.R.H

Airing it out

Airing it out

Because I'm a coward
I act all big and strong
My fearless personality
has become one of my standout traits

Maybe saying that I am a coward
takes it a few steps too far
I truly am fearless
There's only one thing that scares me...

And that thing is LOVE
falling in it, never finding it, having mine abused
All of the usual things and the pain that they bring

Cause me to push away
all of the men who love me
I'M AFRAID TO BE LOVED


I am afraid to be loved
I hope that what everyone
wanted to hear
Because it's the truth

Pathetic????
No, just plain crazy
The only thing I want so desperately

I go running in the other direction
anytime it gets close

As the old school cliche goes
Baby its not you, its me

It really is
Truth is
I have some serious issues with love


If you want to back out
I understand
I guess it wasn't meant to work
anyhow


I never really could grasp
that whole unmerited love thing

I know that I love
people who don't deserve it

But I never thought that anyone
could do the same for me

Love me, even at my unloveable moments
At the lowest points of my life


I guess its my own fault
for never noticing all the love
that was right in front of my face.

So I guess I can't be mad that
I'm stuck in this place.
Loveless and alone.



12/19/2008
9:12 pm

Written by J.M.B

For that love I didn't notice until it was too late :(
J.J.W

Fighting for my love

I can't give up
Because we've loved each other for too long
Aside from that my feelings are just too strong
Not even time, which changes everything was able to make these feelings subside
That makes me feel like you are supposed to be mine
In the past I've made some mistakes
bad decisions that made you give up on me
But im fighting for my love, baby giving up is something we just can't do
I've tried to clean up the mess I've made
When we met I was young and wild
I didn't mean to hurt you
I was so caught up, chasing something I catch
Searching for something more
I never found anyone better because I already had the best
I'm different now and I've learned from my mistakes
Please just give me another chance
Because i'm fighting for my love
I'm fighting for you
I'm fighting for us
I'm gonna try to make it work this time