My hoodie
It may not be perfect but its all I know

Its always there when I need it
Tucked away in the same spot
Ready and willing to keep me warm when the weather is cold
Sometimes the most comfortable things are old
I’m so afraid to try to replace it with something new
Even if it seems like the new hoodie might be warmer
The style is more current
Old faithful provides me with a sense of security
I am already used to the way it fits me
Im afraid to replace it
Because lets face it
We all know that one I give it up
If the new one doesn’t fit as good
Or turn on to be as cute as it looked on the rack
Then I may not be able to just take it back
And go back to wearing my old one like nothing happened
I’m afraid to get a new one because though the old one my not be the best
It is all I know…


Written by : JMB

Trying new things….hoping to ease the fear

My First Love

My first love

Not my first schoolyard crush,
Or just some boy whispering sweet nothings
To make me blush
The boy who grew into the man
That I planned to love forever
We were inseparable
My every thought was of you
I loved you so much you even found your way
Into my dreams at night
Even now after so many years have passed
Hearing you name or seeing your picture
Takes me back through the years
To the day we met, our first date
That was a night I will never forget
I know it has been so long
But honestly there are
Some songs I just cant listen to
Because they remind me of you
And all of the things that we could have been
It’s safe to say that I still love you
I always have and always will
I have never loved a man the same since
I’m not saying it wasn’t real
It jus wasn’t as intense
I haven’t cried, like I did for you
I still haven’t found anyone that I need
As much as I have needed you
All the man I dreamed of I found in you
As wild as it is, I might be down for round 2
If I knew that you were down too


12/28/2008
Written by: J.M.B
For: My first love… D.R.H

Airing it out

Airing it out

Because I'm a coward
I act all big and strong
My fearless personality
has become one of my standout traits

Maybe saying that I am a coward
takes it a few steps too far
I truly am fearless
There's only one thing that scares me...

And that thing is LOVE
falling in it, never finding it, having mine abused
All of the usual things and the pain that they bring

Cause me to push away
all of the men who love me
I'M AFRAID TO BE LOVED


I am afraid to be loved
I hope that what everyone
wanted to hear
Because it's the truth

Pathetic????
No, just plain crazy
The only thing I want so desperately

I go running in the other direction
anytime it gets close

As the old school cliche goes
Baby its not you, its me

It really is
Truth is
I have some serious issues with love


If you want to back out
I understand
I guess it wasn't meant to work
anyhow


I never really could grasp
that whole unmerited love thing

I know that I love
people who don't deserve it

But I never thought that anyone
could do the same for me

Love me, even at my unloveable moments
At the lowest points of my life


I guess its my own fault
for never noticing all the love
that was right in front of my face.

So I guess I can't be mad that
I'm stuck in this place.
Loveless and alone.



12/19/2008
9:12 pm

Written by J.M.B

For that love I didn't notice until it was too late :(
J.J.W

Fighting for my love

I can't give up
Because we've loved each other for too long
Aside from that my feelings are just too strong
Not even time, which changes everything was able to make these feelings subside
That makes me feel like you are supposed to be mine
In the past I've made some mistakes
bad decisions that made you give up on me
But im fighting for my love, baby giving up is something we just can't do
I've tried to clean up the mess I've made
When we met I was young and wild
I didn't mean to hurt you
I was so caught up, chasing something I catch
Searching for something more
I never found anyone better because I already had the best
I'm different now and I've learned from my mistakes
Please just give me another chance
Because i'm fighting for my love
I'm fighting for you
I'm fighting for us
I'm gonna try to make it work this time

Issues with Love

So many times I watch men make mistakes
with the way that they treat the women
who love them.

Yet I consistently torture the men in
my life by imitating the same behaviors
I despise.

I've come to realize that this wretched
cycle is only leading to my hearts demise.

Break the cycle yes I should. If I could I
swear I would but its so deep in me that
its hard to change.

Place my heart in someones hands.
You don't understand. Me, I just can't.
Now what if they break it???
Then who is to blame?


12/12/2008
Written by: JMB
For: All the men who have ever cared about me