Getting Tired

Getting tired

Im getting tired
Of waiting
For you to come around
Of waiting
For you to stop playing games
You want me and we both know it
So come and claim what's yours
Because...
Im getting tired
Of wanting
Wanting to see you all the time and never getting the chance
Of wanting
To kiss you before I go to bed at night
Its about time for you to make that move
Because...
I'm getting tired
Of longing
To be your one and only
Of longing
To constantly be in your arms day and night
I am trying to hold out but its so hard
You have to hurry up
Because...
I'm getting tired
So very tired


8/30/08
4:22pm
For: K.B

Much More

Much More

To me its more than just a thought
More than just a smile
It makes me blush and leads my mind to daydream for awhile
Its more than just a note
Its a reminder of the moment
Where even if just briefly
I crossed your mind
To me its more than just a joke
its not funny at all
Its something that's on my mind all day long
For me its so much more serious than you could ever imagine
To me its like a wish or a dream that only you can make come true.
To me its so much more


4:29pm
8/30/08

K.B

I knew

I knew I loved you before we even met

I always knew that someday we would cross paths

I wasn’t sure when or how

But I knew it would happen someday

I had been waiting all of my teenage years

For you to come and be a part of my life

At times I would date other guys

Trying to make them fit the mold that only you were created for

It never worked out

And the relationships didn’t last

Because I tried to make them be you

Which is something that only you can do

It was already planned for us to meet now

And our relationship is destined to be

When I was a little girl I made list

Of all the things I wanted in a man

And over the years I have kept adding to it

But I could never find anyone that fit the bill

A few came close

One so close that

I had completely given up on finding you

I figured he was close enough

However we all know that almost doesn’t count

I need the real thing

When I met you I knew it was you

And for awhile I was scared

I wasn’t going to approach you

I was going to let you slip away right before my eyes

Then I realized it would be crazy to let you get away

I have been waiting for you all of my life

Everything inside me tells me that this is right

And you are the one I have been hoping for,waiting for, praying for

I knew I loved you before I met you

4:08 pm

8/28/08

for K.B

Hurt like no other

Am I ok?

NO!!!!

What’s wrong with me?

Ugh let me see…

I was fine all day until I saw you

First, you made me smile

Then, you distracted me from the task at hand

I guess maybe it was my fault, that I just can’t stop staring

Next, you made me want to be with you

Then, smiled and said well we should just be friends

FRIENDS!!!!!

Let me ask you a few serious questions….

Do I look like I need another friend?

Have you ever had a friend as hott as me?

As much as I try its really hard

Being just friends with a guy that you want to be with

So if you see me hang my head or staring into space

Just know that I am fine

I have a million thought running through my mind

About how I would love to occupy the space right by your side



For: K.B
8/28/08

This aching feeling

Ugh this feeling is the worst
There's nothing I want more
Than the man who thinks im all wrong for him
All I want is a chance
I just want him to try
I don't usually make promises
But I promise he will never want to leave
The girl who with a relationship right now he just can't see

This aching feeling
8/24/08

For K.B

Wait for you

I just want to be your friend until the day you decide that friendship is no longer enough.
Im waiting/preparing for the day when you decide that I am the girl for you and that you want to be my man.
I spend my days thinking about the way you smile.
Wishing that I could fast forward time to the next day I will see your face.

Lets talk about that

I keep telling myself its over and its time to move on
But my heart just won't let go
So many times I've tried to pick up the pieces and walk away
But I turn around because I hear you screaming J please just try it one more day
Everything inside of me says that you are the one
And at times I can tell you believe it too
But you keep saying no, and walking away only to come back
I wish I could walk away and forget about all of this heartache but I've realized that I would rather cry about you than never think of you again. Its sick, it makes me feel sick

So lets talk about that
11:59 pm

sometime in June

When I see you...

When I see you again
I will feel nothing
I won't worry if it will be awkward
Now I know that I don't still want you
That ship has clearly sail
I've moved on so far that it seems like we were never together
I don't want to touch your face or grab you into a warm embrace
Now I know that when I see you again it won't be a big feel because im clear on how you make me feel
Sick that is
Its like I knew you from another life
Now I don't even remember who you are
I can seem to piece together the feelings that we had for each other and have them represent something meaningful
When I see you again the past will mean nothing
It won't even be a distant memory
Because it feels unreal
As if it never even happened at all.



For: L.B
written by J.B

Behind my Smile

Behind my smile there's a thousand tears
Tears that come from the pain of separation
Separation of a love that gave me a new life
Tears brought on carrying by the heavy weight of sin
Sin that crept into my life, and slowly took over
Relationships it ruined and left my heart torn
Torn between the sin that I hated so much,
the sin that I never wanted to associate myself with
and the my love for the word the truth and the light,
and he who can save me from the bondage I have walked into
Behind all of my sweetness lies a broken heart
Look behind the smiles you see
And you may find pain that you never noticed